An out-of-date estate plan can quietly send your money to the wrong people — even an ex-spouse. Here's what to review before you update your will and beneficiaries.
Most people treat their estate plan like a fire extinguisher. You buy it once, you stick it on the wall, and you never look at it again until something's already on fire. The trouble is, life keeps moving. Kids grow up. You buy the cabin. Somebody gets married, somebody gets divorced, and the laws change underneath all of it. And so the documents that fit your life perfectly ten years ago might not fit it at all today.
Here's the deal. An estate plan isn't a "set it and forget it" thing. It's more like a garden. You don't have to be out there every day, but if you never check on it, you come back and find it's grown into something you didn't plan for. We tell our clients to give it a real look every three to five years, and any time a big life event hits.
If I was to get hit by a bus tomorrow — slightly morbid, I know, but stick with me — would your documents actually do what you think they do? That's the question worth sitting with. Below is how we walk through it.
Before we get into the weeds, ask yourself what's actually changed since you last looked at these documents. This is where most of the real action is.
Have any of the people you named — beneficiaries, your executor, your trustee — passed away? It happens, and a plan that points to someone who's no longer here creates a mess for everybody left behind. The other part of that is the opposite direction: is there anyone you'd now want to add or remove? A new grandchild, a charity that's come to mean a lot to you, or honestly, somebody you've grown apart from.
Then there are marriages and divorces. Yours or your kids'. A divorce in the family is one of the biggest reasons an estate plan goes stale, because those documents may still be pointing money at an ex-spouse. Nobody wants that. And births work the same way — a plan written before the grandkids showed up usually needs another look.
One more in this bucket that people miss: is there a beneficiary with special needs who's receiving government assistance? If so, leaving money to them the normal way can actually knock them off the benefits they depend on. That's a case where the right kind of trust matters a lot, and it's worth a conversation before you sign anything.
Naming a beneficiary is the easy part. The part people skip is asking whether those folks are still the right call, and whether they need a little protection.
Do you need to shield any of your beneficiaries from a divorce, creditors, substance abuse, mental illness, spending issues, or gambling? It's not a fun question to answer about people you love, but it's an honest one. Leaving a lump sum to someone who isn't in a place to handle it isn't a gift — it's a problem with a bow on it. There are ways to leave the money in a structure that protects them, and protects the money.
This is also the time to look at your Powers of Attorney, both the general (financial) one and the health care one. Are the right people named? Are they still willing and able? And your Living Will — does it still say what you'd want it to say if you couldn't speak for yourself? These aren't the documents that move money around. These are the documents that speak for you when you can't. That's a big deal, and they get overlooked all the time.
If you've got minor children, this section isn't optional. Do you need to name or change the Guardians and Trustees for them? Guardians raise the kids; Trustees handle the money for the kids. They don't have to be the same people — sometimes the person who's great with children isn't the person you'd hand a brokerage account to, and that's fine.
Now, on the flip side — have any of your kids hit 18, or whatever the age of majority is in your state? Once they do, they don't need a guardian anymore. Your plan can let those provisions go.
And here's one almost nobody thinks about. Do you have an adult child who's single with no kids? It's worth a conversation with them about setting up their own Powers of Attorney — financial and health care — maybe even naming you to step in if something happens and they can't act for themselves. If your 24-year-old ends up in the hospital, you may have less legal authority to help than you'd assume. A simple set of documents fixes that.
Your stuff changes, and your plan has to keep up with it.
Have you bought or sold a second home? Do you own property — homes, investment real estate, or valuable tangible property — in two or more states? That last one matters more than people realize, because property in another state can drag your family into a whole separate probate process in that state. Down the road that turns into time, money, and headaches your family didn't sign up for.
Have there been material changes to what you own or what it's worth? New business, an inheritance, a big jump in account values? And are there specific things you want to leave to specific people — the ring, the truck, Dad's tools — that aren't spelled out anywhere yet? If it's not written down, it's not a plan. It's a hope.
Don't skip your digital life, either. Email, photos, online accounts, crypto if you've got it. Those don't pass down on their own, and families lose access to things that matter to them all the time because nobody planned for it.
This is the part where the accountant in me perks up.
Do you expect your estate to be larger than your federal estate and gift tax exclusion? That number is high right now — up to $15 million per person, or $30 million for a married couple — so most families are nowhere near it. But if you are in that neighborhood, there are real strategies to plan ahead so you're not handing a giant check to the IRS down the road. We have to pay our share, but we don't have to leave Uncle Sam a tip.
The other thing is, the laws don't sit still. Tax law and estate law have both changed in recent years, and what was a smart move under the old rules can be the wrong move under the new ones. So part of the review is just asking: has anything changed since the last time we looked at this? And every state's a little different — some have their own estate tax, some don't — so where you live and where you own property both factor in.
Estate planning is the "Know Your Legacy" piece of how we work with clients, and it's the one people put off the longest, because it forces you to think about not being here. I get it. But if we don't talk about it, who's going to? Getting it right while you're healthy and clear-headed is the whole point. It takes the weight off you now, and it takes a massive weight off your family later.
We're not attorneys, and we're not going to draft these documents for you. What we do is sit on your side of the table, help you see where your current plan has gaps, and work hand-in-hand with your estate attorney so the whole thing actually fits together — your investments, your beneficiary designations, your tax picture, and your documents all rowing in the same direction. A lot of times the will says one thing and the beneficiary form on the old 401(k) says another, and the beneficiary form wins. That's the kind of gotcha we catch.
Does that make sense? It's a lot, I know. The good news is you don't have to do all of it at once. You just have to start.
We put together a one-page checklist that walks through every one of these questions — the life changes, the beneficiaries, the kids, the property, and the tax and legal pieces — so you can see at a glance where your plan might have gaps before you sit down with your attorney.
Download our checklist: What Issues Should I Consider Before I Update My Estate Plan?
Print it out, run through it, and circle anything that gives you pause. If something on the list raises a question for you, grab a free introduction meeting or just give us a holler — that's what we're here for.
A good rule of thumb is every three to five years, and any time a major life event hits — a marriage, a divorce, a birth, a death, a big move, or a big change in what you own. The documents don't expire on a date, but life moves, and the plan has to keep up with it.
This trips a lot of people up. Your will controls some assets, but accounts like 401(k)s, IRAs, and life insurance pass by their beneficiary form — and that form overrides your will. So if your will says one thing and an old beneficiary form says another, the form usually wins. Both need to be reviewed together, not one or the other.
You need both, and they do different jobs. An estate attorney drafts the legal documents. We're not attorneys and don't draft them. Our job is to spot the gaps, make sure your financial picture and your documents line up, and work right alongside your attorney so nothing falls through the cracks.
Probably not the federal estate tax — that exclusion is very high right now, up to $15 million per person. But "I don't owe estate tax" is not the same as "I don't need an estate plan." Guardians for your kids, powers of attorney, avoiding probate, getting your assets to the right people without a mess — that all matters no matter what you're worth.
Then your state decides for you. There are default rules for who gets what and who's in charge, and they may look nothing like what you'd want. Doing nothing is still a choice — it's just one you don't get any say in. That's exactly the spot we'd like to keep you out of.
This is general education, not individual financial, tax, or legal advice. Estate tax exclusion amounts and state rules can change — confirm the current details with a qualified estate attorney for your situation.